Trauma's Trace

I grew up in an abusive household to two immigrants who came here off an opportunity to provide for their kids.

I didn't know that the result of C-PTSD would end up eating my reality as I matured to the point where every conversation is adversarial, every relationship is black and white with a clear line of logic following things.

A friend once said, all that matters is directional correctness, the rest ends up being sided to the one with conviction. If you're directionally correct about your ability to measure the expected value of opportunities you will always double down and see your immediate crashing free fall or your momentous verticality.

Nothing else can get in the way of that idea, the trace upon which we measure every expected outcome and its net value; our trauma. To sit in a conversation and quickly decide within the first few queues whether the person in front of you is who they really are with integrity and truth behind every word.

Whether they were even worth spending life cycles on.

Trauma's trace.